Debt With Dignity

In all sorts of corners of life we now assume that it is wrong to not treat others well. For example, in the U.S. we no longer have separate entrances based on the color of your skin. Buildings make allowances for physical limitations and a recent news story said that more people have developed a tolerance for the religion of others.



But we could make some advances in learning to treat people in debt, with dignity. Id have to say that currently, society treats debtors as losers and if debtors were on a ledge getting ready to leap, a crowd below would be yelling Jump!



The majority of people without financial problems love a little debtor voyeurism and to witness the financial misery of others. Its like watching the train wreck through cracks in your fingers as you hold your hand over your eyes. You dont want to watch but you do.



Imagine if suicide was like debt and when you were contemplating killing yourself your creditors kept calling you and say things like you are a loser or just do it and good riddance? Thats some pretty cruel mojo isnt it? Maybe we should call the overweight kid that is depressed and yell, fatty, fatty into the phone. But I doubt that would be kind or beneficial at all.



So why is it when people are in financial trouble that we cant wrap our arms around them and treat them with care, compassion and respect. We should. We all should.



If youve never been deep in debt and afraid, unable to sleep, on the verge of an anxiety attack, and depressed, it might be hard for you to imagine what life is like during those dark days of debt. While some might put on a mask, most people are ashamed, unhappy and afraid inside.



Being in debt is the modern day leprosy. When you cant spend money like you used to people dont seem to be around as much, your life changes in a way that you perceive to be for the worse and when youve got to move because you cant afford the rent its like being hustled off to the leper colony. Youre now isolated for all the wrong reasons.



I cant think of any time that Ive ever seen someone post a sign in their front yard that says, Hi Yall were so broke we cant afford to live here anymore and we are getting kicked out. Actually, what Ive seen more of are foreclosed homes with everything left behind, including wedding pictures and the belongs of evicted people left by the side of the road for passerbys to pick through. Ashamed people flee.



Debtors deserve dignity. Im not saying that we need to give anyone a free ride in life. Im just saying that people in debt are wounded and deserve to be treated as you would anyone in a difficult time or in a fragile moment.



Being in debt is a mathematical position with emotional manifestations. Being unable to pay your bills is not a casual reality for most debtors. People in debt want to pay their bills, they do, but they cant see a way or they are not emotionally ready to make those hard lifestyle changes to meet their new obligations.



Being unready or unprepared to make changes to get the numbers to line up does not make you a bad person. It just makes you someone that for some reason is unwilling to make some difficult choices right then.



Being in debt is about managing depression, despair and loneliness. Im not saying that all debtors feel that way, but most do. Being in debt is about a loss of self-esteem and self-confidence. Its about being unable to make a plan, stick to it and make it happen.



The emotional pain of being in debt robs ourselves of our own dignity and the rest of society does almost nothing to help cradle the debtor with love and compassion to soften the blow and easy the journey.



Debtors are losers. Debtors are rejects. Debtors are liars. Debtors a failures. And all of those statements are uttered every day by people and none of them are true. Instead they are like the school yard shouts of the insensitive bully that leaves scars for life on fragile minds.



Debtors do have a duty to find a solution to make the pain and misery they are living through, change. But that can be like asking someone with a bad back to run a marathon. It can happen but with a little help and support.



Being in debt is a thing but being a debtor is personal and debtors deserve to be treated with dignity and compassion while they are helped towards a solution.






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